Haru Haru (Day by Day)

Mark and Ashton always seemed inseparable. Their friends always commented on how they will always be together because of how attached they were to the hip. They were in love, and it seemed like they would love each other like this forever. However, unbeknownst to Ashton, Mark fell sick. He was dying. The doctors said it had to do with the inhalation of toxic fumes over a long period of time back in his college years. It took its toll on Mark’s body and, therefore, made him develop an illness that was killing him quickly.

There wasn’t anything that could be done for him and Mark didn’t want to tell Ashton in order to spare him from mourning his death or committing suicide just to be with him.
The only thing he could do was hurt Ashton so much that he wouldn’t want to dare love him back. If he made Ashton hate him, then surely he wouldn’t have to mourn his death. It pained him just thinking about it. It had to be done, no matter what. Keeping his plans in mind, he turned to his old friend, Alissa for help with this deed, explaining to her what was going on and that he needed her to help him with it. Though reserved and unsure about going through with it, she eventually conceded and agreed to help Mark. She wasn’t going to like the results, but she could see why he wanted to go to such lengths.

Walking hand-in-hand, they made it to the campus where Ashton waited for Mark on the steps. Green eyes widened when he saw Mark holding hands with the striking red-head in their class. Perhaps he helped her with something personal? He knew how good of friends they were. His guess was proven wrong when he saw them exchange words and share a short, soft kiss. Ashton was enraged at the sight, but said nothing more. His mind kept denying the sight, telling himself excuses to cope with this. His eyes remained fixed on the two, waiting for them to part and then seeing Mark give Alissa the ring that Ashton gave him. The silver ring that bore an inscription that Ashton felt described their love perfectly. To see him give that ring to Alissa broke his heart and he turned around to storm angrily. Tears blinded his vision and he hit walls and lockers on the way to the nearest bathroom to lock himself in to cry. How could he do this to him?

Later that day, he confronted Mark and screamed at him. “What am I to you now?! Why are you doing this?! Asshole! I fucking hate you!” He kicked dirt at him and swung punches, sobbing in his fit of rage. Mark only looked at him sadly and left campus with Alissa in tow. Their friends tried to hold Ashton back, but he only swung punches at them too before storming off to the apartment he shared with his brother, Zack. Even Zack knew what was going on and watched as Ashton threw pictures of them together around and breaking the frames, punching mirrors and making his hands bleed. It broke his heart to see Ashton in such pain, but he promised Mark he wouldn’t tell him what was wrong. It was only a matter of time now. All he could do was watch his brother destroy things out of anger and sadness.

Days passed, they kept running into each other, but Ashton only met them with aggravation and glowers. Mark only ignored him and kept his arm around Alissa, kissing her every so often. Ashton yelled and cursed at him and stormed off. Mark didn’t know how long he could take this until the time finally came. Mark collapsed after picking Alissa up from school coughing blood. Alissa was at his side helping him as much as possible. He panted to catch his breath and ran a hand through his hair only to have some come out in his hand. He didn’t think the day would come so quickly. Alissa drove him to the hospital where they began to work on him. His clothes were changed to the drab hospital gowns and his head was wrapped. All of his friends were in the room with him and shared condolences and tears. Mark even finished his will while he was there; making sure Ashton got the bulk of his things. Even though he had hurt him like this, he still cared for him more than anything. Ashton was all he had left now.

He lay back down to rest, letting the medication numb the pain as breathing became harder for him. Zack couldn’t take watching this go on and stepped out of the room to call Ashton over. At first, he refused until Zack spilled the truth. “He’s dying, idiot! He lied to you so you wouldn’t mourn! Get over here!”

Without skipping a beat, Ashton started running as fast as his legs would take him to the hospital. He didn’t think to take the bus or a cab. He just had to run. Adrenaline pumped through his veins to get him going faster. Eventually he made it to the hospital and up to the hallway where Mark’s friends were waiting. Mark was just taken into another room to see if there were anything more that could be done for him. Alissa pulled on his arm in the hallway to stop him. “Ashton, wait…” She spoke softly and took his hand, giving him back Mark’s ring. “I’m sorry I lied…it was because of what Mark wanted. He still loves you very much.” Ashton stared at the ring in his palm, flashbacks coming to them of all the fond memories they had. He gave her a nod and wiped his eyes. She looked at him sadly and let him go running towards the others who accumulated around the doors to the OR. All of them had sad looks on their faces. Ashton didn’t want to believe the worst and pushed on the doors to the OR to come in only to have his friends pull him back.

Mark stared up at the lights above him, tears coming down his cheeks. Breathing was more and more difficult and the doctors all stepped back since they realized that nothing could be done for him. Ashton was the only thing on his mind, good memories and laughter was all he could think about. His lips quivered and the monitor slowly flat-lined. It was the end. Surely now Ashton wouldn’t have to miss him after all that he did.

They group waited outside, Ashton getting restless. Finally the doors opened and the doctors looked solemn when they saw the tears upon Mark’s friends’ faces. Ashton bolted to Mark’s side and collapsed beside him, crying and calling him an idiot as well as himself for letting this happen. It hurt him more than anything knowing his lover was dying and he hadn’t known about it. There was so much they could do instead of let this happen.

No one stopped Ashton or pulled them away. It was clear his heart was shattered and that it would take a long time for him to get over this. Even so, he’ll have to pull himself together eventually. For Mark’s sake.